When I first heard the news that Stallone was making a new Rocky movie, I think I had the same reaction everyone else did. Namely, I threw up in my mouth a little bit. It's actually getting decent-to-good reviews somehow; the review in today's Wisconsin State Journal called it the best since the original. It was saluted for not being over-the-top, as III, IV, and V increasingly were.
With all due respect, these reviewers are morons.
If you're going to make a movie about a 60-year-old man defeating the heavyweight champion of the world, it damn well better be over-the-top! If you're going to start with such a ridiculous premise, then you might as well have some fun with it. Bring back Hulk Hogan, Mr. T, and Dolph Lundgren!
III and IV are two of my favorite movies, simply because they are just so rewatchable. I don't want to watch a senior citizen grieve over his deceased wife for two hours. I want to watch him brawl with Clubber Lang ("My Prediction? Pain.") and Ivan Drago ("If he dies, he dies."). I want to watch him conquer evil in all its forms. Rocky is a larger-than-life superhero, and he should act like it.
Stallone also wants to make a final Rambo movie. Incidentally, Stallone and George W. Bush share the same birthdate; they both turned 60 a few months ago. I think we should make Rambo IV, except it should be W going into the Middle East and single-handedly conquering al-Qaeda. Now there's a movie I'd watch.
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