Sunday, December 6, 2009

Big Jim Dywer's Theory of Notre Dame Football

Four of the five last coaches at Notre Dame have been failures. Faust was in way over his head but recruited well. Willingham, being way over his head, tried the alternative and decided not to recruit at all. For some reason, this tactic proved to be equally unsuccessful. Davie, had decent defenses, but recruited in fits and never developed a competent offence. Weis recruited very well but never adjusted to the college game. The fifth, Holtz, was a good coach and won the national championship.

My theory goes that a competent (i.e. not necessarily good) coach can regularly win 10 games at Notre Dame, which would put us in contention for a BCS game every year and an occasional run at a national title. Notre Dame should therefore hire a competent-to-great football coach. Urban Meyer, Nick Saban, and Bob Stoops aren't coming to Notre Dame. Brian Kelly is 12-0 and scored 45 points on a Pit team, which beat ND. It is debatable whether a single started on Cincinnati's offense would start at ND. Brian Kelly has now turned around 3 college programs. Brian Kelly is at the least a competent coach. Hire Brian Kelly.


Big Jim Dwyer has received footage of the model for John Tenuta's blitz schemes. Watch the whole video for context, but pay careful attention to 3:40-4:15.

Get it? Got it. Good.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Children of the Night

We're all big Twilight fans here at WEHTC™. Thus, in honor of the new movie, I thought I'd post some appropriate music by the band Vampire Weekend:


Saturday, November 28, 2009

'Tis the Seasons

At first I thought this ad might be a subtle jab at Kwanza. I mean, is the Gap really trying to break into the emerging pagan market? The whole "do what feels right" vibe at the end though makes me think that, the minds of the Gap's executives, leaving out followers of Thor just wouldn't be in the Christmas (oops, sorry), make that, holiday spirit.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Whatever Happened

to Whatever Happened to Crazy?

I got a job, foo's.

P.S. How has someone not used asked that question in a comment?

Monday, July 20, 2009


Two items have crossed my desk that demand the widest circulation possible. Naturally, posting it here would most effectively disseminate this information.

First, we've got a man fulfilling the American Dream, i.e. fighting off a cougar with a chainsaw to save your wife and kids. There's not video included, but I imagine it went down something like this:

The article did say the cougar was starving, so just imagine ears on top of the zombies. A boomstick would have just been unfair. Dustin, was a man's man, and took on the beast fair and square.

In other news, I've often wondered what would happen in the Oscar Meir Wienermobile got in a crash. I now know.

Carry on.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Watch Out, World!

Big Jim's finally got his hands on a digital camera, courtesy of the 'rents for his graduation (kindergarten).

Also. An ANNOUNCEMENT. Due to the tomb-like silence residing in this particular web address, I've decided to change to digs and move to Rico-Land. Who knows the wonders that Rico and Big Jim will come up with as they will now inhabit the same city for the first time since the halcyon days of 2005? One can only hope that their hijinks will be regularly blogged in a style befitting their magnificence.

Right: Big Jim's mug of tea on the dining room table, truly pushing the Sony DSC-W290 to its limits.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Movin' On Up

Just downloaded two programs yesterday that have ended Adobe Reader's tryannical reign over me, i.e. slow load times both off and online, giant size, and slowing down of the computer, all especial issues for those stylish enough to own an HP mini.

First we have FoxIt Reader for all your pdf reading needs. At 7.63 MB, it's less than a 10th the size of Adobe Acrobat.

To expand my pdf capabilities, I also downloaded PDF Fill's trial version, which comes with the tools to split and join pdfs, something I've been wanting to have for a long time. The program's primary purpose is to allow the user to type onto any pdf, useful for forms I guess, but I don't plan on using it thusly, espcially since it leaves its watermark on those documents. No watermark for the splitting and the joining. The whole program's 33.8 MB.

So we have increased capability, faster load times, and the two programs combined are half the size of Adobe Reader. Did I mention that they're both free? Yea, progress.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

What Happens When a Stoppable Force Meets a Moveable Object?

A question posed by my little brother deserves a wider audience. Who would win a fight, this guy:

or this guy:


As my sister said, we can't be sure, but there would be a lot of hugs.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

This Post Is Brought to You by the Letters K and P

Whilst reading the Gospel of Matthew in Greek this afternoon, I wrote down nine words to memorize.
pēchus - cubit
krinon - lily
kribanos - earthen vessel, pot, pan
karphos - a dry particle, dry stalk
klauthmos - a weeping, wailing
peran - on the other side of, across
potapos - from what country?
embrimaomai - snort with rage, be indignant
ktaomai - possess
pēra - wallet, scrip, knapsack
(For those that are unaware, I make a check mark in my dictionary by each word that I look up. Three check marks mean a flashcard.)

The significance of this clustering I read to our readers.

Bonus points for those who can identify the chapters. Hint: karphos. Negative points for those who were going to correct me and suggest I write kappa and pi.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Snake bites Man? Boring.

On the other hand:
Man Bites Snake in Epic Struggle

. . . Mr Nyaumbe bit the snake on the tip of the tail during the exhausting battle in the village of Sabaki.

Police rescued Mr Nyaumbe and captured the 13ft (4m) reptile, before taking it to a sanctuary, but it later escaped.

The victim told police he managed to reach his mobile phone from his pocket to raise the alarm when the python momentarily eased its grip after hauling him up a tree on Saturday evening.

Mr Nyaumbe used his shirt to smother the snake's head and prevent it from swallowing him.
And that's why I always carry a cell phone. Yeesh.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Late Is Better than Never

This past Thursday's Gospel, John 8:51-59 (Douay-Rheims):
51 Amen, amen I say to you: If any man keep my word, he shall not see death for ever. 52 The Jews therefore said: Now we know that thou hast a devil. Abraham is dead, and the prophets; and thou sayest: If any man keep my word, he shall not taste death for ever. 53 Art thou greater than our father Abraham, who is dead? and the prophets are dead. Whom dost thou make thyself? 54 Jesus answered: If I glorify myself, my glory is nothing. It is my Father that glorifieth me, of whom you say that he is your God. 55 And you have not known him, but I know him. And if I shall say that I know him not, I shall be like to you, a liar. But I do know him, and do keep his word. 56 Abraham your father rejoiced that he might see my day: he saw it, and was glad. 57 The Jews therefore said to him: Thou art not yet fifty years old, and hast thou seen Abraham? 58 Jesus said to them: Amen, amen I say to you, before Abraham was made, I am. 59 They took up stones therefore to cast at him. But Jesus hid himself, and went out of the temple.
Chesterton's take from The Everlasting Man:
Above all, would not such a new reader of the New Testament stumble over something that would startle him much more than it startles us? I have here more than once attempted the rather impossible task of reversing time and the method; and in fancy looking forward to the facts instead of backward through the memories. So I have imagined the monster that man might have seemed at first to the mere nature around him. We should have a worse shock if we really imagined the nature of Christ named for the first time. What should we feel at the first whisper of a certain suggestion about a certain man? Certainly it is not for us to blame anybody who should find that first wild whisper merely impious and insane. On the contrary, stumbling on that rock of scandal is the first step. Stark staring incredulity is a far more loyal tribute to that truth than a modernist metaphysic would make it out merely a matter of degree. It were better to rend our robes with a great cry against blasphemy, like Caiaphas in the judgment, or to lay hold of the man as a maniac possessed of devils like the kinsmen and the crowd, than to stand stupidly debating fine shades of pantheism in the presence of so catastrophic a claim. There is more of the wisdom that is one with surprise in any simple person full of the sensitiveness of simplicity, who should expect the grass to wither and the birds to drop dead out of the air when a strolling carpenter's apprentice said calmly and almost carelessly like one looking over his shoulder: 'Before Abraham was, I am.'
Happy Holy Week, y'all.

Friday, March 27, 2009


Not the whole thing. Most of it is just mildly amusing. Kindly fast forward to 3:30 and prepare for socks-knocking-off-ness.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Who Shot Who in the What Now?

Since I'm currently writing a paper about Spartacus, I thought I'd trot out this old chestnut.

Single tears rock!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Sunday, March 1, 2009


Catchy tune, good lyrics, even an engaging video (though I'm not really a music video guy), but they can't make up for a truly excrable refrain:

For some better Stereophonics songs, there's A Thousand Trees, More Life in Tramp's Vest, Mr. Writer, or Caravan Holiday (live and acoustic unfortunately).  Kelly Jones has a fabulously unique voice, and I love the effect of the way he can just pile on words in "A Thousand Trees" or "More Life in a Tramp's Vest."  Maybe he should have a poetry album?

This post is dedicated to Rico, who I think rightly diagnosed the thoroughly inadequate response level from our massive readership.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Lenten suggestion

Perhaps Big Jim could give up "not blogging" for Lent.

And the rest of you chuckleheads could give up "not commenting."

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A turning point

There are moments in a man's life when he comes to great realizations about his existence. Moments when a great self-truth crystallizes in his mind.

Last week I got into a car accident. (Short story: I was at fault. I slid on ice. It was the old car.) I took my car in for an estimate today, and they needed to keep it overnight before they could give me the full estimate. In the meantime, they offered to give me a rental car for the day.

As it turns out, Hertz was very low on vehicles and had just two available when I got there. My choice was stark: Would I go with the sleek and stylish Ford Mustang or the functional yet boxy Toyota Sienna? The rental guy picked me up to take me back to the agency in the Mustang. It was all I could do to stuff the car seat in the back seat, let alone get it installed.

Needless to say, tonight I am the proud driver of a minivan.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Blue-Gold game?

April 18, 2009. Sunny (or not) South Bend, Indiana. 2009 Notre Dame Blue-Gold game. Tailgating with a beautiful Deepwater Blue Hyundai Santa Fe. Will YOU be there?

Sunday, February 8, 2009

New car!

2008 Hyundai Santa Fe GLS!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I was going to apply for a job in the Obama administration . . .

but then I went and filed my taxes. What was I thinking?

Monday, February 2, 2009

Best. Super Bowl. Ever.

What a game! This game had it all: Back and forth action, amazing turning points, hairpulling drama, Kurt Warner's suddenly attractive wife!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

What She Said

Amy Welborn wrote a magnificent post yesterday. Also, I'm glad to see that Juan Williams is still talking sense.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Reihan Salam Is Everying I Aspire to Be

(in a blogging sense).

Check out his latest post on The American Scene (which you should be reading anyway). Wit. Good music. Ghenghis Khan. Even some rap references for my poor deluded partner.

I'm going to have to check out The Dirty Projectors. That song is amazing.

That is all. Carry on.

Monday, January 19, 2009

New Life Plan

I've decided to make a lot of money in order to take up parachuting.  You see, one needs to log at least 200 jumps before attempting this:

I'm actually fairly serious.  The wingsuit may be the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


According to our good friend,
to equivocate; vacillate.

So now we all know what the hell the Proclaimers were singing about in the second verse:

One further note. The Proclaimers are Scottish. The accent makes sense working backwords, but I'd always figured they were from the Carribean.

Well, it looks like my learning is done for the day.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I can update the sidebar too!

Even better, my sidebar changes include deceptively quoted rap songs!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Notre Dame Football 2008: First Quarter

Going into the football season this year, I wasn't quite sure what to think. On one hand, the team was coming off one of the worst seasons in school history, finishing 3-9. On the other hand, there was no questioning the amount of talent Charlie Weis and his staff was bringing in. The question was whether that talent would mature and develop quickly enough to start winning a lot of games.

Going into the season, I thought it was instructive to break it into four quarters, with three games in each. I concluded that if Notre Dame finished each quarter 2-1, I would have been satisfied. With a bowl win, this would have given the Irish a record of 9-4. Though I hoped for a 10-2 or 9-3 season, anything more than 8-4 would have been gravy.

As most readers of this blog know, the first two quarters went roughly as planned. The final two? Not so much.

First Quarter

Notre Dame began the season with San Diego State, Michigan, and Michigan State (road). Just about everyone following ND expected the San Diego State game to be little more than a glorifed scrimmage. The Aztecs, starting their season a week sooner than the Irish, lost their opening game to Division I-AA Cal Poly. Not only that, they gave up nearly 300 yards rushing to Cal Poly and were missing almost 10 defensive lineman.

The game turned into a near disaster. San Diego State led most of the way due to a couple of Jimmy Clausen interceptions and a shocking inability to run the football. Up 13-7, San Diego State was driving deep in Irish territory and poised to go up two scores against a struggling ND offense. David Bruton then made a play that potentially saved the Irish season (and Charlie Weis' job), forcing and recovering a fumble at Notre Dame's 1 or 2 yard line. The Irish would eventually score a couple of late touchdowns to win 21-13.

Aside from the near disaster, this came will probably be best remembered as the debut of Michael Floyd in a Notre Dame uniform. Floyd had only one catch, but it was a jumping 37-yard touchdown pass where he displayed the incredible combination of athleticism, balance, and hands that will make him a household name very shortly.

After this Pyrrhic victory, the Irish faced Michigan. I wasn't sure what to think at this point. Michigan struggled to a 1-1 record to start the year, but we weren't really certain quite how bad they would turn out. Just as in the 2007 ND-Michigan game, I predicted that whoever jumped out to an early lead would have a huge edge. Unlike the 2007 game, it was the Irish who forced turnovers and dominated early. Notre Dame raced out to a 21-0 lead behind the stellar play of Golden Tate and Real American Hero Mike Anello. The Irish cruised to a 35-17 victory.

Not knowing quite how putrid Michigan truly was, I hoped that this game would serve as a turning point for the young Irish. Notre Dame headed for East Lansing at 2-0 and faced a challenge against Michigan State. Again, the Irish struggled to run the ball, but for the first time since 2006, we saw glimpses of the dynamic passing game that made Charlie Weis a hero early in his tenure at ND. Jimmy Clausen spread the field with four and five receiver sets for much of the second half, but turnovers again killed the Irish. One pick in the Spartan end zone killed an Irish scoring opportunity, and one deep in Notre Dame territory set up the Spartans with an easy drive. Notre Dame's defense put up a game fight against super-duper-workhorse Javon Ringer, but the Irish fell 23-7 in a game that was probably closer than the score let on.

First Quarter Grade: B-.

The Irish went 2-1, meeting my preseason goals. The high point was obviously the Michigan drubbing. It may sound strange, but the low point was San Diego State, not Michigan State. Even though the Irish won their opener, their sloppy play and struggles against a deeply flawed opponent made just about everyone think "Here we go again." Following the Spartan game, even though we lost, there was reason for hope. As we will soon see, that hope blossomed in the form of a beautiful passing game that nearly carried the Irish to a perfect second quarter.

Thursday, January 8, 2009


a small wood or thicket.
I suppose the undetermined size of the wood pictured precludes it from being a true spinney, but it was too good an opportunity to miss.


I updated the links on the bottom right.

I'd like to direct our loyal readers' attention to three in particular: Charlotte Was Both, Shadow Government, and Big Hollywood.

Amy Welborn has been writing Charlotte Was Both for over a year now, before which she wrote Open Book.  In my opinion she provides the best combination of Church news, analysis, and reflection.

Shadow Government is a new shared blog written recently unemployed foreign policy types. It should prove highly informative.

Finally, Andrew Breitbart kicked off Big Hollywood a couple of days ago.  His goal is to make Hollywood a place accepting of conservative views. I incline towards pessimism (both towards the feasibility and the means), but the project remains worthy and the reading should be entertaining.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


Primary definition:
a thick, low post, usually of iron or steel, mounted on a wharf or the like, to which mooring lines from vessels are attached.
Used in sentence:
Big Jim may chain Rico to a bollard unless he posts more often.

C'est La Vie . . .

Degenerations: a fairly new Quebecois song. To this novice reader of French, the translation is basically good, except for the "drunken notions" part. The French is:
pour calmé tes envie de hold-uper la caissière tu lis des livres qui parle de simplicité volontaire
Which we should read as:
In order to calm you desire of holding up the bank-teller, you read books which describe voluntary simplicity.
The lack of religion in the song is interesting, if predictable. One can't very well remove Catholicism from Quebec's past though. The band, Mes Aieux, is fervently pro-abortion (also predictable), despite the lyrics:
And then you my little girl, you constantly switch partners
Whenever you make a mistake, you correct it by aborting.
But some mornings you wake weeping,
When you have dreamed of a big table surrounded by children.
One is probably meant to read these lines as a critique of the culture, rather than of the practise iteself (regrettable, maybe necessary). Still, the lyrics pack quite a punch, and I don't know if one can get the inferences the band desires unless you know their own ideology.  Of course, the cultural critique only goes so far. What is one to do with the last verse?  It continues the theme of isolation but the action it offers is more symbolic: as our ancestors did, we still can dance. Rather gloomy.

A sidenote. The full song has two minute instrumental section at the end. I wonder why the music video didn't include it with the girl dancing with some older folks in traditional costume. Too happy maybe? Or is there some socialist law about music videos not going over 3:15 in Canada?