Great Wits Are Sure to Madness Near Allied

If you're looking for the real thing. It's included in this set directed by Karajan. Probably my favorite CD I own.

A Red Letter Day!

Someone just got The Landmark Herodotus and Lost Battles. On the same day. Not that I have time to read either, of course. The Herodotus is especially tempting. Maps galore! But alas, it's now time to study French.

Rocky 2008!

I recognize that the cross-section of people who love both Rocky IV and politics is probably quite small, but what the hell.

Come to think of it, a McCain v. Obama general election could set up just like the entire plot of Rocky IV (see my post immediately below).

Playing the role of Ivan Drago, the unstoppable Communist force dominating the boxing world is Barack Obama, the unstoppable near-Communist dominating the political world.

John McCain plays Rocky Balboa, a formerly great figure who's now thought to be over the hill by most observers.

Starring as Apollo Creed, Rocky's former nemesis turned respected peer, is Hillary Clinton.

In Act I, it is revealed that Dragobama is coming to America to fight an exhibition bout against Apollary. Though Rocky tries to talk her out of the fight, she's convinced that she can show this uppity youngster a thing or two. However, from the opening bell, it becomes quickly apparent that Apollary was woefully unprepared for the onslaught unleashed by Dragobama. Apollary's corner fails to throw in the towel, and Apollary is left beaten, bloodied, and on life support. Closing out Act I is Dragobama's fateful line, "If she dies, she dies."

Rocky is faced with an existential dilemma. Having just seen his peer killed in the ring by Dragobama, he concludes that his only choice is to face him for one final showdown: a debate at UC-Berkeley. His wife, however, has other ideas. When she tells him he can't win, he recognizes that maybe she's right, but he's going to fight anyway:

No, maybe I can't win. Maybe the only thing I can do is just take everything he's got. But to beat me, he's going to have to kill me. And to kill me, he's gonna have to have the heart to stand in front of me. And to do that, he's got to be willing to die himself. I don't know if he's ready to do that. I don't know.

With the world against him and no one-not even his wife-thinking he stands a chance, Rocky goes into the wilderness and trains.

At this point, we cut to a training montage: Rocky, telling people the truth, Dragobama speaking empty platitudes. Rocky, riding the straight talk express, Dragobama, using class warfare rhetoric. The scene ends with Rocky standing atop Mount Rushmore repeatedly screming "Dragobama!" at the top of his lungs.

We arrive at the big debate. Polls show Rocky with nearly no chance. At the beginning of the debate, as the foes shake hands, Dragobama greets Rocky with, "You will lose" and "I must break you." Dragobama unleashes his dazzling array of oratorical assaults on Rocky. Though Rocky takes a vicious beating, he continues to fight. Just when things look hopeless, Rocky lands a wholly unexpected counter punch that fells Dragobama. Seizing an opening, Rocky pounces on him, attacking him as weak on national security, pro-taxes, and too inexperienced to lead this great nation. Even the Berkeley crowd is inspired by Rocky's words and begin to chant his name. Dragobama is unable to recover, and Rocky scores a KO by winning the electoral college 269-267.

After the debate, Rocky turns to the liberal crowd, and delivers this rousing speech:

During this debate, I've seen a lot of changing, in the way you feel about me, and in the way I feel about you. In here, there were two guys killing each other, but I guess that's better than twenty million. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!

Fade to black.

Everybody look at me!

I gave my son my sticker today. Never too early to teach him a lesson about voter fraud.

I did pencil in McCain today, and thanks to my vote, he carried Wisconsin. I didn't see his entire victory speech, but I really enjoyed this line, turning his sights on Obama:

I promise to fight every minute of every day of this campaign to ensure that voters aren't deceived by an eloquent but empty call for change.

Maybe I'm just fooling myself, but I'm beginning to believe that Obama is actually beatable. It's kind of like the scene in Rocky IV when Rocky finally gets Drago to bleed and Rocky's trainer Duke says, "You see? You see? He's not a machine, he's a man, he's a man."

Marshalling the evidence

Just so we're keeping track, Roger Clemens wants us to believe that:

1) Brian McNamee is lying about Clemens, despite the fact that his accounts of steroid provision have been largely confirmed by contemporary player Chuck Knoblauch and Clemens' good friend Andy Pettite.

2) Andy Pettite "misremembered" their conversation years ago, somehow confusing Clemens' discussion of a TV program that showed the benefits of HGH on old people with him saying that he had HGH shot in his ass.

3) Clemens' wife spontaneously mentioned to McNamee that she wanted to get HGH shot in her ass, without any prompting or even discussion of the subject with Clemens.

4) Clemens' career spontaneously regenerated, leading to multiple Cy Youngs, at a period when most pitchers begin to break down and struggle.

5) Clemens was entirely clean, in spite of mountains of evidence that hundreds of players were using HGH and/or steroids, and a "don't ask, don't tell" culture had developed in baseball.

Were I an unbiased observer, it would strain credulity beyond belief to think that Clemens is the one individual telling the whole unvarnished truth while everyone else is lying and misremembering. As a biased observer, I hope they throw the lying, bat-throwing, ass-injecting, steroid freak in prison.

Unifying Theory of British Culture

1. The British like tea.

2. The British have bad teeth.

3. Brushing your teeth makes your tea taste bad for hours afterwards.

Conclusion: The British have bad teeth so that their tea will taste better.

QED

No Burnination, Unfortunately

From Norbert, who is kind of a dragon in his own right:

Wrecruting Wrapup

Notre Dame wrapped up a remarkably successful recruiting class this Wednesday on National Signing Day. According to both Rivals and Scout, the class ranked second in the country. However, by the time August rolls around, it will likely be upgraded to #1. The current #1 belongs to Alabama, but Nick Saban signed 31 players to his class, of which only 25 are expected to qualify academically.

Notre Dame signed 165 (edit: 16!) of the top 250 players in the country, according to Rivals. Even more impressive is that the Irish signed 5 of the top 37: QB Dayne Crist (#25), WR Michael Floyd (#20), TE Kyle Rudolph (#27), OG Trevor Robinson (#37), and DE Ethan Johnson (#32). Here's the full rundown:

Hat's off to Charlie Weis and the Notre Dame coaching staff for doing such an incredible job keeping this class together in the face of a 3-9 season.

While we're on the subject of incredible coaching jobs, Notre Dame basketball is now ranked #21 in the country and is sitting at 8-2 in the Big East. For a team that was projected to come in ninth in the conference, they've really exceeded expectations.

Snow Day!

10-16 inches of snow? No problem!

25 Years of Kicking Ass and Taking Names

Well, maybe not kicking ass, but you get the idea.

Today, your friend and mine, Big Jim, turns 25. And boy, do we have an all-star lineup to wish him a happy birthday.

First up, two-time NFL MVP and reigning (for one more day) Super Bowl champion Peyton Manning.

Thanks, Peyton. Next, a special message from our friends at Anheuser Busch:

Bud Light presents, "Real Men of Genius." (Real Men of Genius.)

Today we salute you, Jim, Mr. Really Special Birthday Celebrator. (Mr. Really Special Birthday Celebrator!)

Some say you're a year older, some say a year wiser, and some say, "Why is a 25-year-old still celebrating their birthday?" (Cause I can!)

They say with age comes wisdom. Unfortunately, it also comes with varicose veins and thinning hair. (I'm wearing black socks with sandals!)

Tonight, you and your friends will party in the roped off section of the hottest club in town. Except in your case, it's the line to get inside. (Let us in!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, O Admiral of the Ageless. Because even though you're 25, you'll always be #1 with us. (Happy birthday to yoooou!)

Lastly, Carmen Electra called and said she didn't want to miss the chance to confess a secret to you (and promote her latest movie, of course).

Happy birthday, Big Jim!

Election Probabilities

Chances of Republican Victory:
McCain v. Clinton: 50%
Romney v. Clinton: 30%
McCain v. Obama: 20%
Romney v. Obama: 5%

I think the chances of any Republican beating Obama are quite slim. The only chances Romney has are if Obama makes some big gaffe or if the Democratic primary process drags on considerably and leaves Obama damaged goods. (Bill Clinton is certainly doing his part in this regard.) McCain has a better shot against Obama, but it would still be a very difficult fight.

Both Republicans have a better shot against Clinton, but only McCain gives the party an even shot of holding the White House. McCain has a chance to pull in a number of independents that Romney likely wouldn't. Regardless of who the GOP candidate is, if Clinton is the opponent, the election would largely be a referendum on her.

What say you, Big Jim?

The Right Talk Express

The Corner is one of my favorite websites. But the vitriol displayed by some contributors to McCain has made it almost unreadable. In the last 24 hours, he's been compared to Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Ted Kennedy, and Lord Voldemort.

I understand that Levin, Lopez, and some others don't care for McCain. But their insistence on looking at everything he does through a bad faith lens combined with their uncritical fawning over Romney are unbecoming and unhelpful. There are huge distinctions to be drawn between McCain and Clinton/Obama, and these "conservative leaders" are doing both the movement and the nation a disservice with their unwillingness to draw them.

Classic Family Guy Humor

Peter: Brian, I feel awful. Stewie and I were getting along so good, but now he hates me. How do I get him to like me again?

Brian: Well, that depends. Do you really want my advice or are you just asking random questions again?

Peter: What's a hypotenuse?

Poetic Interlude

Silky smoothness
I'll never again neglect to
Change
Your blades regularly
Fusion

Not Just America's Team

Video brought to my attention by a certain Cuban:

Election Hijinx, Shenanigans, and Tomfoolery

Start here. Lee Atwater was a Democratic bogeyman when Karl Rove was still wetting his political diapers. There's a reason people still talk about Willie Horton.

Whaaaa?

Conclusion of a decent Joe Klein column:

It may well be true that any Democrat is going to have to handle that sort of sewage in the general election, but I've now--belatedly!--figured out that the real audacity in Barack Obama's campaign--far more than his positions on the issues, which almost seem an afterthought--is his outrageous belief that the entire country, not just Democrats, wants to see a straight up election; that the entire country is tired of the pestilence of tactical tricks that the Clintons learned from their co-dynasts, the Bushes. (The latest example being their sudden, sociopathic emphasis on the importance of the Florida primary, a contest all three candidates had agreed to eschew at the behest of the Democatic National Committee.

It is a hell of a bet Obama has made. And nearly 40 years of political, uhm, experience tells me that it isn't a very wise one...but I must also say that it is truly sad to see Bill and Hillary Clinton on the wrong side of it.

What got me was the line about the Bushes. Just what did Bill learn from Papa Bush. I presume that Joe doesn't think that Karl Rove had already assumed the position of Prince of Darkness in 1992. Rico?

Being poor rules!

Actually, working for half a year while marrying a student and being a parent rules. Thanks to the federal government's largesse (specifically via the Earned Income and Additional Child credits), we are getting $2,968 in tax credits even though we didn't withhold a penny in 2007. If we add in the $79 from the state, we're getting over $3,000 for no reason. If we further add in the estimated $900 we're allegedly going to get to "stimulate the economy" this summer, that's nearly $4,000.

Maybe I should start voting Democrat...

A short list of awesome things

1. This story about robots evolving and learning how to lie. Awesome and troubling at the same time.

2. The video game Bully. It's a less homicidal version of Grand Theft Auto. It's the first video game I have bought in a while, and it's been a blast.

3. This dream I had last night (or was it two nights ago?) where I was running for president and got into a verbal fight with Mike Huckabee in a parking garage overlooking Notre Dame's spring football game. Awesome because it gives a deep insight into my psyche and the things that occupy my brain power.

4. Antonin Scalia. It's really fun to see ostensibly liberal law students persuaded by sheer force of his reasoning. It's equally fun to see other liberal students trash him because they think they are supposed to, without actually addressing his arguments.

5. Eli Manning and the New York Giants. Simply because I don't think I could have stomached two weeks of Packer hype and Favre news converage without harming myself or others.

Hippies!

Social Conservatives, Electability, and Mike Huckabee

Generally, voting based purely on "electability" is dumb. We saw that in 2004 when the democrats nominated John Kerry even though no one seemed to have any actual affinity for him. A collective groupthink set in where everyone seemed to convince everyone else that Kerry would be the most likely candidate to win in the general election. Maybe that was true and maybe it wasn't. But the fact remains that very few people were actually fired up or excited by Kerry. Had democrats nominated their true love, Howard Dean, who knows what would have happened?

Having said all that, electability needs to be a factor when deciding whom to support. I bring this up because social conservatives understandably love Mike Huckabee. It makes sense, given his outspoken views on issues such as abortion and gay marriage. Social conservatives view Huckabee as one of them. While I still think it's unlikely that Huckabee will be nominated (because he hasn't shown a real ability to pull in voters outside his base), if he were the nominee, it would be disastrous for the GOP in general and social conservatives in particular.

Were Huckabee the nominee, he would alienate most moderates and all liberals with his uncompromising far right social views. Further, he would alienate a large segment of the conservative base with his populist, leftist, protectionist economic rhetoric. Alienating voters across the political spectrum is generally a bad policy for winning elections. He would have virtually no chance in the general election. Simply put, nominating Huckabee would give the Democratic party two years of complete control over the federal government.

In those two years, the democratic majority would roll back protections against the unborn, put gay marriage on the table, and most importantly, replace John Paul Stevens (and possibly Ruth Bader Ginsburg) with young liberal Justices. These moves would render the efforts of the last 20 years to develop a culture of life in America and overturn Roe entirely meaningless. If you're a social conservative, the worst thing you can do for your cause is nominate Mike Huckabee.

What Else Floats on Water?

A friend and commenter sent me this little tidbit from the Smithsonian Magazine:

Think of this. The most distinguished graduate college at Oxford is All Souls, founded in 1438 and popularly alleged to number among its Fellows the cleverest men and women in England. Once in every hundred years this eminent company celebrates something called the ceremony of the mallard, when it commemorates the fable of a wild duck supposed to have flown out of the foundations when the college was being built. After a good and vinous dinner those academics perambulate the premises looking for the shade of that bird, carrying sticks and staves, led by a Lord Mallard in a sedan chair with a dead duck on a pole, climbing to the roof and singing a gibberish song—Ho, the blood of King Edward, by the blood of King Edward, it was a swapping,
swapping mallard.

When in 2001 they celebrated the ceremony of the mallard for the umpteenth time, they printed a booklet about the occasion. On its cover they quoted a contemporary commentator (me, as it happened!) to the effect that no event in Europe could be sillier, "not the most footling country frolic or pointless Anatolian orgy."

Quote of the Day

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass . . . and I'm all out of bubblegum.

Apparently it's from some movie called They Live.

Catholicism Is Awesome

Pretty amazing post over at the New Liturgical Movement.

Reason #941,408 I love The Onion

Stories that hit close to home:

"It takes Mr. Jenkins 4.33 milliseconds to retrieve the memory of holding his newborn sister for the first time, but just 1.09 milliseconds to retrieve the memory of knocking Pikachu off the Sector Z platform with Donkey Kong's 'ground pound' maneuver in Super Smash Bros.," McCarroll said. "In fact, the only school-related memory he is able to review as vividly as the underwater-bomb-defusing level of Nintendo Entertainment System's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is his first day of college, which was spent playing multiplayer GoldenEye 007 with his roommates."

Whatever. Everybody knows that the ground pound move sucks and no competent Donkey Konger would use it.

Er. Not that I've spent countless hours dissecting the strategy and physics underlying Smash Bros.

Tonight on Walker, Texas Ranger

Walker missed with a roundhouse kick to a villain's head. The villain asked, "What the hell was that?" To which Walker responded, "This," and proceeded to knock the bad guy out with a second roundhouse kick.

In fact, I am watching Walker on a Friday night. Thanks for asking. I think I might follow it up with a little Not Another Teen Movie.

So . . . Do You Like Comic Books?

Thought Rico might like this for the Wolverine bit. Kind of frightening though. Thankfully a fair amount of it is over my head. Conan is almost completely foreign to me. Never read any of the books and seen parts of two very, very bad movies. Red Sonja? Crom? Come to think of it, I don't know anyone except for Conan. The X-Men stuff, on the other hand, basically makes sense. Except for the Super Skrull. I think he's more Fantastic Four or Iron Man than X-Men though. I think we'll be fine without a Comic Books tab.

Watching "Sports," Eh?

I think we all know what Rico means by that:

Gladiator ready?

When I heard NBC was bringing back American Gladiators on the strength of good ratings for the reruns, I was both excited and apprehensive. Excited because a staple of my youth was returning to TV and apprehensive because I thought NBC would go ahead and ruin it. So it was with great anxiety that I watched the premier last night.

Unfortunately, some of my fears were well grounded. The original version of the show was over the top, but ultimately it was about athletic competition. The current incarnation was so slickly produced and entertainment-centric that you almost forgot that there was an actual sporting event going on. As someone who watches virtually any televised sport*, the focus on the theatrical aspects was frustrating. Hiring Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali to host certainly didn't help.

Having said all that, the show partially redeemed itself with the sheer awesomeness of the eliminator. One of the few problems with the original show was that the eliminator was usually anticlimactic, with one contender grabbing a lead and cruising to victory. Now, however, the course is so draining that just about anything could happen. It really made for compelling television.


* Seriously, I'll watch just about anything remotely athletic as long as it's competitive. Come Winter Olympics, I'm watching curling. When ESPN used to show putt-putt in the afternoon, I was all over that. Golf, tennis, bowling, ping pong, I'm there. My only exception is women's basketball. No one should ever be forced to watch that.

As a proud heterosexual man,

all I can say is I told you so.

Words fail

This is one of the saddest - and yet most touching and powerful - things I've ever read. It's the final post of the blog of Major Andrew Olmsted. He had it prepared in the event that he was killed in Iraq.

I rarely ask others to read specific things, but please follow the link and read what Major Olmsted wrote. Though woefully inadequate, taking the time to read it is still a way to honor the life and remember the death of a great American.

Last minute impressions

With the Iowa caucuses upon us, I've been watching a lot of news coverage. The more I watch, the more I like Romney and dislike Huckabee. Huckabee is just extremely disingenuous in trying to run a "positive" campaign while constantly bashing Romney. Here's a note to Mike: Just because you don't mention your opponent by name, it doesn't make your insults any less negative.

So begins my life as a corporate sellout

I just shaved for the first time in more than six months in preparation for lunch with an attorney for Milwaukee's largest law firm.

If I'm going to be a corporate sellout, I'd at least like to be paid like one.

Poker: A Metaphor for Life

Teddy Roosevelt and the Square Deal:

A man who is good enough to shed his blood for his country is good enough to be given a square deal afterwards. More than that no man is entitled, and less than that no man shall have.

He would later expand on this idea:

When I say I believe in a square deal, I do not mean to give every man the best hand. If the cards do not come to any man, or if they do come and he has not got the power to play them, that is his affair. All I mean is that there shall be no crookedness in the dealing.

This is about as close to my personal political philosophy as any 100-year-old quote can come. And just for good measure, here's some more TR:

Thrice happy is the nation that has a glorious history. Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.

Indeed.

Most Excellent

Edit: You know, if you're going to have a "Commercials" tag, you might as well use it. Also, this commercial is about 6 months old.

--Rico

I'm not sure what's going on here,

but I want to be a part of it.



As longtime friends know, Big Jim and I spent the better part of our college years playing the original Super Smash Bros. If the Wii version were available during that time, let's just say there would have been blood shed.

"Get in the fray!"

A word of caution

If you don't care for the song "Frere Jacques," you probably shouldn't have a child.

Who's up for some Christmas late night election discussion?

I know I am!

Actually, I'm on late night guard in case my son wakes up. He may or may not be sick and is definitely teething, so he's hurting quite a bit.

Let's start with a look at the Democratic field.

Here, there are three names that merit any consideration: Hillary, Barack, and Edwards. Edwards is at an immediate disadvantage, since he must suffer the indignity of being identifiable only by his last name.

Hillary's advantages and disadvantages are almost universally known. Pluses: Strong name recognition, a competent and professional organization, a large lead in national polls. Minuses: a vitriolic hatred from nearly half the nation, significant past scandals, a cold demeanor. If she wins Iowa and New Hampshire, she will unquestionably win the nomination. If she fails to win those states, she'll still likely be the favorite, but the race will become much more interesting.

Obama's strength lies in his compelling stump speech, his unprecedented fundraising skills, and his ability to market himself as the candidate of 'change.' His formidable talents, however, have not translated into strong debate performances or a surge in national polls. He does have considerable support in the early states of Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina. To win the nomination, he's going to have to close strong in Iowa to convince Democratic partisans that he is (1) experienced enough to lead the country and (2) strong enough to fight off Republican attacks.

Edwards is an interesting case. Four years ago, he rode his boyish good looks, inoffensive speech, and southern charm to give John Kerry his only real opposition in the primaries. This time around, he's the unapologetic, fire-breathing populist liberal who hasn't found a rich person he can't disparage. He has many weaknesses as a candidate, foremost the contrast between his rhetoric and his lifestyle, but he appeals to the Angry Left. He has very little support after the early states, so to have any chance at winning the nomination, he's going to have to win Iowa convincingly and ride a wave of free media coverage into the other states. Anything short of a large Iowa victory will not be enough.

Joe Biden, Bill Richardson, Chris Dodd, and Dennis Kucinich are irrelevant. Having said that, I think Biden's been spectacular in the debates I've seen.

On the Republican side, there are six (Six!) candidates worth discussing.

Rudy Giuliani has long been the national frontrunner. For more than a year, he's led virtually every national poll of Republicans, based on his strong name recognition and great support as New York City's 9/11 mayor. The question a year ago is the same question he faces today: How will his liberal social policies affect his chances? As the first primaries become closer, it appears that the answer is "Considerably and negatively." Though Rudy has done an admirable job on the campaign trial playing up his national security and low-tax credentials, his denial of the pro-life segment of the party has begun to hurt him. To win the nomination, he simply has to do well enough to get to February 5th with enough credibility to carry states like Florida.

Before Giuliani was the frontrunner, most observers expected John McCain to be the party's 2008 nominee. However, over the past 18 months, McCain's campaign imploded and appeared on the verge of ruin. It's only been over the past few months that conservative voters have given him a second look and decided that they might like what they see. His weaknesses (a maverick reputation, a good relationship with the media, and his age) aren't going away, but McCain appears to be positioning himself as the second choice of many voters. To win, he'll need to replicate his 2000 success in New Hampshire and convince enough conservatives that he is the least of several evils.

Of the major contenders, only Mitt Romney has run a traditional Republican campaign. Romney has spent millions more than anyone in Iowa, campaigned aggressively in New Hampshire, and touted his conservative credentials. Those credentials, however, have come into question because of Romney's changed position on many issues. It's expected that candidates will position themselves effectively to win elections, but when a politician changes his position on abortion, stem-cell research, gun rights, immigration, and a host of other issues, it leaves voters wondering what the man really believes. For Romney to win, I believe he must win Iowa. Given the time and money he invested there, anything other than a victory will inevitably be portrayed as a failure.

Mike Huckabee has come from nowhere to be Romney's most credible challenger in Iowa. The former governor of Arkansas has used a strong emphasis on religion as well as a unique brand of working class populism to appeal to a large segment of primary voters who had been dissatisfied with the slate of candidates. Since his meteoric rise in the polls, Huckabee has faced increased scrutiny over his tenure as governor and inconsistencies within his positions. Like Romney, Huckabee probably needs to win Iowa to have a realistic shot at winning the nomination. He faces an uphill battle because he lacks Romney's fundraising revenues as well as Giuliani's and McCain's name recognition. Consequently, free media coverage is a key to his campaign.

Fred Thompson is the last of the major Republican candidate. A year ago, no one considered him as a possibility, but six months ago, he was viewed as a potential savior in an otherwise weak field. Like most political messiahs, Thompson has underwhelmed. (See also Clark, Wesley.) Thompson has shown little desire to do the kind of retail politicking necessary in Iowa and New Hampshire and has instead seemed content to rely on his fame to earn him the nomination. Thompson's best shot at winning the nomination is a muddled early race that leaves no clear frontrunner but several candidates bruised. At that point, Thompson would need to perform well in the southern primaries and emerge as a compromise choice among voters.

Ron Paul will not win the Republican nomination. Still, he deserves to be mentioned because he has really tapped into a mine of anger among a distinct core of supporters. He has translated this support into more than $12 million in donations in the fourth quarter. This is absolutely uncharted territory for a argely unknown Congressman from Texas. Depending on how Paul decides to use the money, he could go a long way to determining who wins the nomination-indeed he could help decide the presidency if he runs as an independent candidate.

I have to confirm with Big Jim, but I'm pretty sure our editorial endorsement will be coming out soon. Perhaps surprisingly, I think we're on the same page.

From Our Blogging Family to Yours,

Merry Christmas.

Damn

17
Though I suspect Big Jim's opinion of himself is exaggerated.

Awesome

26
Well, Rico, how about you?

My confession

Since I've been on break, I've been watching as much Walker, Texas Ranger as possible.

I find the show oddly compelling, plus Walker is a great role model for Jake. Since my wife is an only child and I have just one sibling, Jake doesn't have much going for him in the way of aunts and uncles. Consequently, I've decided that from now on, we're going to call Chuck Norris 'Uncle Chuck.'

To top it off, the show has the greatest theme song of all time:

In the eyes of a ranger,
The unsuspecting stranger
Had better know the truth of wrong from right.

Cause the eyes of a ranger are upon you,
Any wrong you do he's gonna see,
When you're in Texas look behind you,
Cause that's where the rangers are gonna be

A friendly reminder

The following is a public service announcement from all of us here at Whatever Happened to Crazy? to Christian rock radio stations everywhere:

Christmas music, especially the religious variety, is a sacred thing. Many of these songs have been around for decades, entertaining us, but also inspiring us and reminding us of the true meaning of Christmas. With that in mind, the music should not be altered beyond recognition. Specifically, "O Holy Night" does not need a drum solo. I'm looking at you, 105.3 The Fish.

Eleven months out of the year, most of us are happy to ignore your silly genre. But in December, do us all a favor and leave well enough alone.

Blame Canada?

What the hell's going on? Really. From Ezra Levant in the National Post (not exactly a bastion of Conservatism):

The Canadian Islamic Congress (CIC) is taking Maclean’s magazine to a human rights commission. Their crime? Refusing the CIC’s absurd demand that Maclean’s print a five-page letter to the editor in response to an article the CIC didn’t like.

It may shock those who do not follow human-rights law in Canada, but Maclean’s will probably lose.

Forcing editors to publish rambling letters is not a human right in Canada. But that’s not how the CIC worded their complaint, filed with the B.C., Ontario and federal human rights commissions. Maclean’s is “flagrantly Islamophobic” and “subjects Canadian Muslims to hatred and contempt” according to a CIC statement. “I felt personally victimized,” said Khurrum Awan at the CIC’s recent press conference. All this because Maclean’s dared to run a column discussing the demographic rise of Islam in the West.

It’s a new strategy for the CIC, which in the past has tried unsuccessfully to sue news media it disagreed with — including the National Post — using Canada’s defamation laws. But Canada’s civil courts aren’t the best tool for that sort of bullying. In a defamation lawsuit, the CIC would have to hire its own lawyers, follow the rules of court, and prove that they suffered real damages — and the newspapers would have truth and fair comment as defences. Launching a nuisance suit against Maclean’s would result in an embarrassing loss for the CIC, a court order to pay the magazine’s legal fees, and it would deepen the CIC’s reputation as a group of radicals who don’t understand Canadian values. (Three years ago, Mohamed Elmasry, the CIC’s Egyptian-born president, declared that every adult Jew in Israel is a legitimate target for terrorists).

So civil lawsuits won’t work. Criminal charges are a non-starter, too: Canada’s hate-speech laws are reserved for extreme acts of incitement, and charges can only be laid with the approval of the justice minister. And in criminal court, the accused must be proved guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. No chance there.

That’s why human-rights commissions are the perfect instrument for the CIC. The CIC doesn’t even have to hire a lawyer: Once the complaint has been accepted by the commissions, taxpayers’ dollars and government lawyers are used to pursue the matter. Maclean’s, on the other hand, will have to hire their own lawyers with their own money. Rules of court don’t apply. Normal rules of evidence don’t apply. The commissions are not neutral; they’re filled with activists, many of whom aren’t even lawyers and do not understand the free-speech safeguards contained in our constitution.

And the punishments that these commissions can order are bizarre. Besides fines to the government and payments to complainants, defendants can be forced to “apologize” for having unacceptable political or religious opinions.

An apology might not sound onerous, yet it is far more troubling than a fine. Ordering a person — or a magazine — to say or publish words that they don’t believe is an Orwellian act of thought control. The editor of Maclean’s, Ken Whyte, maintains his magazine is fair. But human rights commissions have the power to order him to publish a confession that he’s a bigot — or, as in one Ontario case, even order someone to study Islam. Even convicted murderers cannot be “ordered” to apologize.

What Levant never mentions is that the incomparable Mark Steyn was the featured author in most of those MacLean's articles.

Just What McCain Needed

to bring him over the tipping point:

Joementum.

Ask and it will be given to you

"Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

On Thursday night, Big Jim asked me when Trevor Robinson was going to commit to Notre Dame. Less than 24 hours later, he officially committed.

Now I'm pretty sure Jesus was talking about going to God with your prayers, but I suppose asking me is the next best thing.

With that in mind, let's take a look at the recruiting chart. Notre Dame now has 22 commitments from high school seniors. Of those, 9 are among the top 100 players in the nation, and 18 are among the top 250. Simply a stunning job for a 3-9 team. As always, the absurdly subjective rankings courtesy of Rivals.



Offense
QB: Dayne Crist (#20)
RB: Jonas Gray (#56)
WR: Michael Floyd (#81)
WR: John Goodman (#221)
TE: Kyle Rudolph (#17)
TE: Joseph Fauria (#180)
OT: Lane Clelland (#125)
OG: Trevor Robinson (#97)
OG/C: Braxston Cave (#223)
OG/C: Mike Golic, Jr. (NR)

Defense
DE: Ethan Johnson (#29)
DE: Sean Cwynar (#160)
NT: Omar Hunter (#50)
NT: Brandon Newman (NR)
NT: Hafis Williams (NR)
OLB: Darius Fleming (#96)
OLB: David Posluszny (NR)
ILB: Steve Filer (#76)
ILB: Anthony McDonald (#198)
CB: Robert Blanton (#202)
S: Jamoris Slaughter (#122)
S: Dan McCarthy (#174)

One thing to note about this class is its great balance. One of the recurring flaws in Notre Dame's recruiting has been terribly unbalanced classes. See, e.g., Bob Davie's three quarterbacks in one year, Tyrone Willingham's woeful offensive line recruiting, and Charlie Weis' two-year failure in signing defensive linemen. This year, the only position where we would appear to have an excess of players is on the defensive line, where the team needs both quantity and quality desperately.

For those interested, we'll do one last recruiting wrap up after National Signing Day (February 5, 2008).

Seven Words I Always Say:

Rico's a bum for liking country music.

Eight words I never thought I'd say

I really like the new Bucky Covington song.

The chorus:

It's good to be us, good to be breathing
Day after night after day, this feeling
Feels the way it should
If this is as good as it gets, then good

It's better than best, yeah we got it made
In the shade, in the sun, in love this way - yeah
We got lucky baby, we've been blessed
Couldn't ask for more, wouldn't settle for less
It's good to be us, yeah, it's good to be us

My true calling

With finals over, I have a four-week break before school starts again.

This leaves me free to pursue my true calling in life: stay-at-home dad and professional blogger.

If only I could get paid for this.

Still the Man

GKC on pride and humility, from Orthodoxy:

In one way Man was to be haughtier than he had ever been before; in another way he was to be humbler than he had ever been before. In so far as I am Man I am the chief of creatures. In so far as I am a man I am the chief of sinners. All humility that had meant pessimism, that had meant man taking a vague or mean view of his whole destiny -- all that was to go. We were to hear no more the wail of Ecclesiastes that humanity had no pre-eminence over the brute, or the awful cry of Homer that man was only the saddest of all the beasts of the field. Man was a statue of God walking about the garden. Man had pre-eminence over all the brutes; man was only sad because he was not a beast, but a broken god. The Greek had spoken of men creeping on the earth, as if clinging to it. Now Man was to tread on the earth as if to subdue it. Christianity thus held a thought of the dignity of man that could only be expressed in crowns rayed like the sun and fans of peacock plumage. Yet at the same time it could hold a thought about the abject smallness of man that could only be expressed in fasting and fantastic submission, in the gray ashes of St. Dominic and the white snows of St. Bernard. When one came to think of one's self, there was vista and void enough for any amount of bleak abnegation and bitter truth. There the realistic gentleman could let himself go -- as long as he let himself go at himself. There was an open playground for the happy pessimist. Let him say anything against himself short of blaspheming the original aim of his being; let him call himself a fool and even a damned fool (though that is Calvinistic); but he must not say that fools are not worth saving. He must not say that a man, qua man, can be valueless. Here, again in short, Christianity got over the difficulty of combining furious opposites, by keeping them both, and keeping them both furious. The Church was positive on both points. One can hardly think too little of one's self. One can hardly think too much of one's soul.

Music Update

Favorite bits of Classical music at the moment:

1. 3rd movement to Mozart's Symphony No. 39

2. 2nd movement to Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 5 "Emperor"

3. 1st movement to Bach's Suite No. 4

4. 5th movement to Lalo's Spanish Symphony

and of course

5. 1st movement to Beethoven's Symphony No. 7
6. 4th movement to Mozart's Symphony No. 41 "Jupiter"
7. Holst's "Jupiter"

On a side note, I had forgotten how bad "Away in a Manger."

Math Can't Be Wrong

The Transitive Property of Football strikes again. From j9er on Cartier Field over at ND Nation:

Why the BCS Rankngs are Wrong and Notre Dame Should Be in the Title Game
**Notre Dame beat UCLA, Stanford, and Duke.**

1. Ohio State (Notre Dame beat UCLA beat Oregon beat Michigan beat Illinois beat Ohio State)
2. LSU (Notre Dame beat UCLA beat California beat Tennessee beat Georgia beat Kentucky beat LSU)
3. Va Tech (Notre Dame beat UCLA beat California beat Tennessee beat Georgia beat Kentucky beat Va Tech)
4. Oklahoma (Notre Dame beat Stanford beat USC beat ASU beat Colorado beat Oklahoma)
5. Georgia (Notre Dame beat UCLA beat California beat Tennessee beat Georgia)
6. Missouri (Notre Dame beat Stanford beat USC beat ASU beat Colorado beat Oklahoma beat Missouri)
7. USC (Notre Dame beat Stanford beat USC)
8. Kansas (Notre Dame beat Stanford beat USC beat ASU beat Colorado beat Oklahoma beat Missouri beat Kansas)
9. West Virginia (Notre Dame beat Stanford beat Oregon beat Michigan beat Illinois beat Wisconsin beat Michigan State beat Pittsburgh beat WVU)
10. Hawaii (only team in the country better than Notre Dame)

See you in New Orleans for Hawaii vs. Notre Dame.

Because It's Damn Good

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep
And miles to go before I sleep.

Now I Get It

Finally, a grand theory of the Star Wars universe. Not that probably aren't eleventy billion out there already, but to create so elegant a synthesis of all six movies was truly a work of art. Truly Lucas has a uniquely singular and opaque vision to so cleverly disguise so fascinating a story. And under our very noses!

In the words of the immortal O. Sharp:

It all makes sense, that perfect kind of sense that only comes with excessive drinking.

I should probably warn you, gentle reader, that full appreciation of said theory is dependent (shudder) on having seen and remembered the events of Episdoes 1 through 3.

A New Triumph

Someone's only got 10 messages in his inbox. Never thought I'd see the day. Now if only my room were that tidy . . .

How Many Narrators?

The Evidence:

This Season
(Words and music by Kirk McLeod, arranged by Seven Nations)

Daniel closed his eyes as if it didn't happen
And he wondered why every time this season
Feel it in the air, see it in the lightning
And he wondered why it always felt so frightening

I will remember you this way
As sure as the night divides the day
As sure as the sun goes down

Then he looked at me his eyes heavy with reason
And he spoke of how she never stopped to listen
When she got the news she wrecked her room in anger
Never looked at me, she telephoned the doctor

I will remember you this way
As sure as the night divides the day
As sure as the sun goes down

Which way's on and on, his question fell
Like rain on the window like I never will
His face touched the glass, his finger traced
The path of the water
The lines on his face

I will remember you this way
As sure as the night divides the day
As sure as the sun goes down.

While the song is highly elliptical, the second verse effectively gives the game away. However, as the title of this post makes clear, it is not meaning but person that concerns me. In particular, who is the singer of the refrain? I highly recommend the song by the way, if for nothing else than the awesome (electric?) bagpipe riff.

One hour til Criminal Law

Am I ready to take this test? Let's just say I could step in tomorrow for Sam Waterston and nobody would know the difference.

As my wife pointed out, however, I wouldn't be nearly as effective selling robot insurance.

Notre Dame Football 2007: A Postmortem

It is an understatement to say that Notre Dame's 2007 football season was a disappointment. After two consecutive BCS games, 3-9 was a huge letdown. Given Weis' 15-year history of offensive success, the team's inability to field a competitive offense was shocking. The lack of a running game was depressing. The growing pains, such as they were, were evident every single game. The defense, though improved, was still inconsistent. Everyone on the team, save Trevor Laws, let me down at one point or another. Despite looking forward to this year as a chance to start fresh, I was frustrated much more often than I was pleased. Optimism frequently gave way to despair.

Despite all this, I watched every single play of the season, from the kickoff against Georgia Tech to the kneeldown against Stanford. I watched every fumble, every sack, every shotgun snap over the quarterback's head, and every outside run that the linebackers seemed powerless to stop. Why would I subject myself to such frustration, anger, and misery? Because when Notre Dame is great again (and they will be great again), I want to wear this season as a badge of honor. I want to remember all the difficulties, all the painful losses, and all the moments I wanted to throw something.

I hope that every single player feels the same way.

This Explains a Lot

The ever-number-crunching FunkDoctorSpock has calculated the percentage of points each class at Notre Dame scored this year:

Fr . . . 118
So . . . 13
Jr . . . 12
Sr . . . 6
5th . . . 48

Revue Party, on the other hand, totaled the number of yards each class gained:

Receiving
Fr . . . 635
So . . . 579
Jr . . . 258
Sr . . . 123
5th . . . 371

Running
Fr . . . 497 (including -165 for Clausen)
So . . . 469
Jr . . . -71 [Sharpley of course]
Sr . . . 35
5th . . . 50

I'm guessing neither is exactly typical.

Well, I Guess the Race Is Over

Side note. Norris was born in 1940 and had done his own stunts in roughly 37 billion action movies. Looks like he's doin' pretty well.

The formula to a successful country album

I love country music, and I appreciate the themes running through the songs. Having said that, the topics can become awfully repetitive. With that in mind, here is my foolproof formula to a multi-platinum country music album!

1. A song about sowing my wild oats
2. A song about settling down and raising a family

3. A song about the joys of whiskey
4. A song about the sorrows of whiskey

5. A song about America
6. A song about the south
7. A song about Texas

8. A song about a bar on Saturday night
9. A song about a bar on Tuesday afternoon
10. A song about church on Sunday (Bonus points if you combine the three!)

11. A duet with Willie Nelson/Merle Haggard/Loretta Lynn

Nashville, here I come!

Amazing Grace

"Was blind, but now I see..."

For most of my life, my vision has been perfect. I was consistently measured at 20/15 or 20/20 vision. For some strange reason, it was actually a point of pride.

Over the past two years or so, I began to notice a deterioration in my vision. Gone was the ability to read street signs at a mystifying distance.

The result was my first full eye exam at an optometrist in my life. In addition to officially diagnosing me as colorblind, she also fitted me with a pair of sweet glasses.

Friends, I was once like you. Blind and in the dark. But I've come to tell you that today I see! I see the truth! I see the light! I see every blade of grass and every leaf!

And brothers and sisters, the world is beautiful! By the grace of God, we have a beautiful world!

Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

More difficult: Children or law school?

After trading one for the other today, I'd say children. Jake has pinkeye, so dad's home playing Mr. Mom today. It's been really nice to have a day alone with my son, but it's also exhausting. Aside from naps, babies need attention all the time! I thought only Big Jim was that needy.

Also, huzzah for 300 posts!

TV Roundup

Scrubs: I think it's likely that JD and Kim will get back together. However, even if they don't, I would be very disappointed if JD and Elliot lived happily ever after. They've just gone to that well one too many times. What would be different from the last time they got together and JD immediately realized that it was a colossal mistake?

Heroes: Monday's episode was far and away the best of this season. The conclusion of Hiro's story arc was really well done, the Parkman-Nathan Petrelli story line finally got moving, and the Adam Monroe twist at the end was fantastic. Additionally, when Noah Bennett (the cheerleader's dad) goes into his morally ambiguous, protect his family at all costs routine, he's one of the best characters on television.

The writers' strike: I don't have a horse in this race, and I really don't know enough about the demands to have an informed judgment on the merits of the strike. However, there's one thing I'm fairly confident regarding the strategery of the move. If the writers think they are going to bring television and movie studios to their knees by withdrawing their "talents," they have another thing coming. America will be more than happy to watch another season of "My Big Fat Obnoxious Whatever."

I'm back!

So my google account was hacked last Friday. At first, I assumed it was just a problem with gmail or something, but after I couldn't access my account for several hours, I was concerned.

I started searching around online to see if other people's accounts mysteriously stopped working. It had happened to other people, and it usually wasn't the result of hacking. In some cases, access was restored the next day.

I decided to wait and see if my access would come back, but it didn't. I became seriously worried when I was able to get to my security question to retrieve my password, and it was "???????????"

At this point, I began to freak out a bit, knowing everything that I have stored in gmail and do through gmail. Further, since Blogger is a Google product, I wasn't able to blog, leaving Big Jim all alone.

I had to go through Gmail's tedious password retrieval service. They asked for all sorts of ridiculous information I didn't have, such as my verification code when I first signed up. Luckily, my original Gmail invitor still had the original invite e-mail. Through that, I was able to eventually regain access to my account.

But the story doesn't end there! After accessing my e-mail, our mystery hacker also was able to get into my eBay account. Thankfully, his crude attempt to list six expensive digital cameras on eBay within minutes of one another was deemed suspicious by their security team. My account was frozen, and I was able to close it this morning.

Ultimately, it appears that the only consequence of this whole experience was serious aggravation. I'll be keeping a close eye on any internet accounts I have, but I may be in the clear.

The disconcerting thing about all this is that the IT guys here at Marquette don't know how it happened. I can only assume it happened on the wireless network here, but there's no way to know for sure. It's a vulnerable feeling.

Te moral of the story is that you should change all your passwords to "JG8#6r!YfcO*&675M1H"

Nice

Lines 8-21 from the Prologue of William Langland's Piers Plowman (ca. late 14th c.), translated by George Economou:

I dreamed most marvelously, as I recall,
All the world's wealth and all of its woe,
Dozing that I was, I certainly saw;
Truth and treachery, treason and guile,
Sleeping I saw them all, as I shall record.
I looked to the East toward the rising sun
And saw a tower--I took it Truth was inside.
To the West then I looked after a while
And saw a deep dale--Death, as I believe,
Dwelled in that place, along with wicked spirits.
Between them I found a fair field full of folk
Of all manner men, the common and poor,
Working and wandering as this world asks us.

I think Economou could have tried a little harder with the alliteration. From what I understand, which isn't much, one wants to have alliteration in both halves of the verse. Using that as the standard Economou fails a little too often for my taste. Still, a marvelous bit.

I Know That I, Big Jim, Do Not Have Your Superior Intellect and Education . . .

But I'm not crazy for thinking that at least one of these two fine gentlemen of the NFL Network is a fan of the Three Amigos, am I?

Browns-Seahawks highlights

Oh. Go, Browns.

Still Got It

Boo yah.

Prediction

ND by 10. Our guys are just too big and too fast.

Scrubs Question

Are Kim and JD done? Not impossible, but I would consider it unlikely at this point. Still, the breakup was done in such a way so that JD was completely blameless.

Observation. JD and Eliott are both single.

Thank you Perry much.

Yea Humanity!

An article fraught with symbolism:

Scientists Find Oldest Living Animal, Then Kill It

Makes me want to go shoot some buffalo.

My Quandry II

I honestly can't decide whom I dislike more: the radio station executives who decide to play Christmas music on November 1, or the listeners who inexplicably reward them by tuning in.

Christmas is 54 days away. That's 15% of the year!. It's all so absurd.

Score One for the Brits

I can't construe this any other way than a calculated insult. Good for them:

Of course, as my friend John asked, if Abdullah is Vader, who's the Emperor?

Sooooo tedious

"The trial court's analysis, however, failed to take into account the fact that grapes can be expected to roll if they fall on the ground."

My quandry

A few weekends ago, Mrs. Rico was walking out of Starbucks when a 16-year-old kid scraped the rear corner of our car. He was totally cooperative and gave her his contact and insurance information.

I brought the car into the body shop a few days ago for an estimate, and it came in at slightly over $400. According to the shop, my car's totally masculine and heterosexual color is quite difficult to match.

This brings me to my dilemma. The kid's dad promised to cut me a check for $410. That's a pretty big chunk of change for two students with an infant son. Should we use the money to get the car fixed? Let's look at this from a few angles.

Economic: From a pure economic analysis, it would be foolish to spend the money this way. In other words, getting the car fixed simply isn't "worth" that much money to me. Were the scratches caused by some unknown driver in the Marquette parking lot, there's virtually no chance that I would be spending $400 to get them fixed, even if I found the money lying on the street. So, cost-benefit analysis points to "no."

Legal: As a law student, it behooves me to know and follow the law. However, I have no clue whether I'm required to use the money to get the repairs done. Even better, I'm not sure where to look. However, I suppose that when I'm not sure what the law is, I should steer the unquestionably legal course. This would point to "yes."

Ethical: Here's where I'm stumped. Is there some sort of moral imperative to use the money for the purpose which it was intended? Personally, I'm leaning against the idea, but that could just be because I want the freedom to spend the money on a Nintendo Wii. Where's an ethicist when I need one?

I suppose it's a moot point, given that the wife will make the decision anyway.

Lyle Landry?

I'd be more enthused if it were Lyle Lanley. You know, Commons put North Haverbrook, Brockway, and Ogdenville on the map!

Lyle Lanley: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Commons!
What'd I say?

Ned Flanders: Commons!

Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

Patty+Selma: Commons!

Lyle Lanley: That's right! Commons!

[crowd chants `Commons' softly and rhythmically]

Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...

Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.

Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?

Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.

Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?

Lyle Lanley: You'll be given cushy jobs.

Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?

Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.

Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.

Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.

I swear it's Eddy's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!

All: Commons!

Lyle Lanley: What's it called?

All: Commons!

Lyle Lanley: Once again...

All: Commons!

Marge: But Stepan's still all cracked and broken...

Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!

All: Commons!
Commons!
Commons!

[big finish]

Commons!

Homer: Comm... D'oh!

The Future Is Now

Brought to you by Lyle Landry, Notre Dame's new Eddy Street Commons:

It looks fantastic. I just hope it has some color and isn't completely filled with Fridays. A mere three would be perfect.

An early Christmas present

So so so awesome.

I love being right

You'd think the joy would wear off after it's happened to many times, but you'd be wrong.

The Red Sox victory in game 1 was a crushing blow to the Rockies and their magical run. It led to their sweep. As I predicted, the game 1 winner would roll.

Were I to start another blog,

it would be titled "Jesus is my Consigliere."

Scrubs

I too thought it was a quality episode. Are Elliott and Keith done for good though? My thoughts on the matter are similar to JD's. Beardface is the man. As, it would appear, is JD.

Scrubs

I really enjoyed tonight's premiere and thought it was an excellent job setting up JD's big story arc for the final season. An extended cameo from Dr. Beardface never hurts, either.

Recruiting Update

Despite last weekend's debacle, Notre Dame managed to secure commitments from two of the more highly-recruited offensive players in the country, RB Jonas Gray (#52) and WR Michael Floyd (#79). Here is the visual update to the recruiting year for the Irish. Again, ridiculous rankings are courtesy of Rivals.

Last minute World Series prediction

Game 1 is obviously important in any playoff series, but it's even more important than usual here. Whoever wins tonight will win the series.

The Rockies have been on a magical streak, but they've been idle for 8 days. It remains to be seen whether they can keep up their ridiculous pace in the face of the long break, and if they lose tonight, much of the past month's magic will wear off.

For the Red Sox, Josh Beckett carried the team through the ALCS. He won 2 of the first 5 games of the series, salvaging a chance for the team to rally against the Indians. If Beckett loses tonight, it will crush all the momentum Boston gained in the last three games against Cleveland.

Who to choose: The hottest team or the hottest player? If history has taught us anything, it's that dominant pitching wins in October. That's why I'm picking Beckett and Boston to win game 1 and the World Series.

Completely Uncalled For

A variation on an oldie but goodie:

If it's good enough for Chuck Norris...

it's good enough for me. You just knew he'd pick a Republican.

If I were an Indian

Tough break for Cleveland. It must be even tougher to know that any chance the Indians blew any chance they had to win the World Series for the next five years, what with the Brewers dynasty starting...


now.

(PS: Bonecrusher, feel free to enter your gloating comments here.

If I Were a Heathen . . .

Not the best fit anymore (The world has changed a bit since GK was in his heyday), but I think the poem is at the very least applicable to Al Gore and Co. The third illustration is my favorite.

The Heart Bleeds

Headline from Yahoo:

As violence falls in Iraq, cemetary workers feel the pinch.

Could it be that we're actually beginning to win?

Weird parallels

The struggling Vikings won today to move to 2-3. Adrian Peterson set a Minnesota record by rushing for 224 yards. This impressive achievement was accomplished in spite of boneheaded coach Brad Childress, who gave the obviously inferior Chester Taylor more carries than Peterson.

Fast forward to 2003:

The struggling Irish won today to move to 2-3. Julius Jones set a Notre Dame record by rushing for 262 yards. This impressive achievement was accomplished in spite of boneheaded coach Tyrone Willingham, who gave the obviously inferior Ryan Grant more carries than Jones.

In a world where black is white and up is down...

Remember a couple of weeks ago when USC, LSU, Oklahoma, Florida, and West Virginia were the top five teams in the country?

Me neither.

Recruiting!

Rivals has taken on the ridiculous task of ranking the top 250 high school football payers in the nation. As ridiculous as the whole endeavor is, it's not going to stop me from using it to become overly optimistic about Notre Dame's future!

According to Rivals, 14 of the top 209 players in the country have committed to Notre Dame. There is a good balance of offensive and defensive players, and perhaps most importantly, Notre Dame will likely bring in its most impressive collection of defensive linemen and linebackers in well over a decade.

Here are the players' national ranks.



Offense:
#17: Kyle Rudolph, TE
#20: Dayne Crist, QB
#116: Lane Cleland, OT
#167: Joseph Fauria, TE
#202: John Goodman, WR
#206: Braxston Cave, OG/OC
Unranked: Mike Golic, OG/C

Defense:
#29: Ethan Johnson, DE
#70: Steve Filer, ILB/OLB
#78: Omar Hunter, NT
#90: Darius Fleming, OLB
#117: Jamoris Salughter, S
#147: Robert Blanton, CB
#160: Sean Cwynar, DE/DT
#194: Anthony McDonald, ILB
Unranked: Dan McCarthy, S
Unranked: Brandon Newman, NT
Unranked: Hafis Williams, DE/DT
Unranked: David Posluszny, ILB/OLB

All in all, it's quite an impressive collection of talent. Perhaps more impressive will be the coaching staff's ability to keep the class together in spite of Notre Dame's on-field struggles this year.

I'll leave it to Big Jim to determine the players most likely to fill out the remainder of the class. It's not like Classics graduate students are particularly busy.

Is Iraq getting better?

Between an infant son and the first year of law school, I've almost completely stopped following national and international news. Based on my extremely spotty news consumption, however, it seems like things are steadily improving in Iraq.

However, I could be totally off base. Can anyone tell me if this is true or not?

Brian Fantana

That's the alias I ended up using for my paper this week. It makes sense, because I am the stylish one of the group.

All that remains to be seen is whether I have the "balls" to use James Westphal and Dr. Kenneth Noisewater for my final two papers.

Letsa Go!

Indians 6-4.

My wife will appreciate this

Onk!

Tribe 2-1

That's a relief

I was beginning to worry that the Mossad had silenced Big Jim.

Boo Yah, Grandma, Boo Yah.

12-3 Tribe.

Alias

In my legal writing class, we have to submit our papers under pseudonyms. Clearly, I used Johnny Rico as my first one. Now, I have to decide where to go for my next three. So many choices. . .

Continuing the Starship Troopers theme: Ace Levy, Drill Sergeant Zim, and Sky Marshall Tahatmaru.

Marvel Villians with ridiculous names: Victor Von Doom, Otto Octavius, and the Mandarin.

My favorite X-Men's alter-egos: Peter Rasputin, Remy LeBeau, and Bobby Drake.

Underused and underappreciated Smash Bros. characters: Yoshi, Fox McLeod, and Captain Falcon.

One-time Simpsons appearances: Frank Grimes, Hank Scorpio, and Sideshow Cecil.