I Do Not Think That Word Means What You Think It Means . . .

From a truly, absolutely, utterly fabulous op-ed in the Washington post by Patricia McGuire, president of Trinity College:

Of course, church leaders, including institutional presidents, also expect Catholic colleges and universities to manifest clear respect for the church and its moral teachings across the spectrum of issues in human life and moral conduct. How we manage that expectation within our respective communities of diverse scholars and students exercising their free-speech rights is at the white-hot center of many controversies. Controversy itself is sometimes the most fruitful way to teach about our faith.

The critics would have us ban plays, speakers, student clubs, faculty members and alumni guests whose words or deeds run contrary to the most orthodox interpretation of Catholic teaching . . .

Truly, absolutely, utterly fabulous in its willful misinterpretation of Church teaching. Hi oh!

Low-hanging fruit first. That last sentence I quoted is a doozy. We'll ignore the the first part since it manifestly isn't true and dwell upon the predicate. Does Ms. McGuire have another way of interpreting the faith? By orthodox she obviously means "hard-line" or some such. Kind of clumsy to give the game up though, isn't it? I mean, doesn't everyone claim to be an orthodox Catholic? If you don't think your views are consistent with the "real" Catholicism, why on earth would you call yourself Catholic?

If we can now backtrack to the full initial paragraph. Have you ever heard a more weak-kneed support for the Catholic Church?* Can't a school like, oh, say, Cornell "show respect" for Catholic doctrine? So, the Church claims to offer the most the accurate means of learning the truth of existence and meaning of living a human life. Ms. McGuire will take that as one among many factors before embarking on a course of action. Lovely.

Notice the skill with which our fearless leader inserts "free speech rights" into the equation. A Catholic school is a private entity. There are no free speech rights. Nor should there be. The government of the United States is not in the business of regulating speech in private schools, or businesses for that matter (Same thing. Oh, snap!). However, some sort of professed allegiance to the first amendment, does provide excellent cover.**

*I don't think I want to know if the the answer is "yes."

**I'm guessing that Ms. McGuire would not tolerate (nor should she) a professor shilling of the KKK on one of her surely august quads.

Great Moments in French History

1. While reading an article in our French for Reading course, a History PhD student mis-translated a sentence because he was unaware that Napoleon was exiled to St. Helena.

2. Our teacher, a sixth year French lit-crit student, learned during our class that the crown prince of France was known as the Dauphin.

Am I taking crazy pills, or is our educational system breaking down?

An Investigative Assignment for Big Jim

Much to my disappointment, both Marquette and Notre Dame use one-ply toilet paper. I must know if this a Catholic school thing or a general university phenomenon.

Big Jim, does the trend hold at Cornell?

The absurd elevation of sports

On Sunday Night Football, sideline reporter Andrea Kremer just noted that at Tony Dungy's daughter's college (Spellman University, an all-female, historically black school), professors compare Dungy's coaching of a Super Bowl champion with Martin Luther King being put in jail and African-Americans gaining voting rights.

Really? We're going to trivialize one of the most important civil rights achievements of the last century and the most important African-American leader ever by comparing them to a football game?

A brief rant against newspapers

One of the responsibilities of my job is to talk with members of the media about publications I've written as well as topical tax issues. I enjoy doing radio interviews because they afford me the opportunity to put the things I say into context.

Conversely, I don't like newspaper interviews, because journalists have a tendency to fit whatever I have to say into the narrative of the story they want to write. There are some exceptions to this rule; a few local journalists that I've talked to multiple times are genuinely interested in learning and writing informative articles that serve the greater good. Unfortunately, they are few and far between. Whether it is out of ignorance or malice, few reporters seem both willing and able to write a smart, contextual story.

Generally, I'm not someone who thinks I could pick up a job and do it particularly well. I understand most occupations take time to learn and hone your craft. However, I'm convinced that if I got a job as a newspaper reporter tomorrow, I would immediately be in the 90th to 95th percentile in the profession. Simply put, they are not good at what they do.

I assume a lot of the reporters with whom I interact have journalism majors. I say that because they do not seem to understand the issues they are writing on at all. While I'm sure a journalism degree teaches people some fine things, reporters would do well to also study some relevant field, be it economics, political science, or even history. Without the context these fields provide, reporters cannot hope to understand the issues they cover.

Having said that, you'd at least think a journalism degree would help reporters write well. You'd be wrong. Take this story, from today's Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, on property values and home sales. It begins as follows:

Wisconsin weathered the national housing downturn of 2006 - but it came at a price.

Home resales declined 4.5% from a year ago, but the number of homes sold was the second-highest in state history.

A fourth-quarter price slump canceled out gains made earlier in the year.

The median house price in Wisconsin is now $164,000, up 1.2% from 2005.

The year ended on a low note.

In the final three months, resales dropped 10.7% in the southeast, 10.6% in the south central and 9.4% in the north, compared with a year earlier.

Autumn was a time when over-ambitious sellers realized their pricing mistakes, said David K. Stark of Stark Co. Realtors in Madison.

The first seven paragraphs of the story have one paragraph each! By my count, the article has 24 paragraphs, 17 of which have one sentence. There are also four two-sentence paragraphs and three three-sentence ones.

If journalism classes teach this sort of writing, shame on them. If editors encourage it, shame on them. When the media cannot be trusted to write an intelligent, straightforward, unbiased article, they certainly cannot be trusted to serve as a watchdog against things like government corruption and corporate sleaze. Consequently, we all suffer.

Flashback

Random song from grade school that just entered my head:

Ebeneezer Sneezer,
Topsy-turvy man,
Walks upon his elbows
Every time he can,
Dresses up in paper
Every time it pours,
Whistles Yankee Doodle
Every time he snores.
Oh Ebeneezer what a man!

The tune is simply progressing up a scale, so line one would be sung all in C, line two in D, etc. The Last line then runs down that same scale. For some reason we all loved it in first grade. I think it must have been the word "Ebeneezer."

Well, That's Done

No, Catullus, te pedicavi, te pedicavi.