Today's Smash Bros. History Lesson

Reflecting on John Adams, I can't help but notice the parallels between the Continental Congress and my college experience playing Smash Bros. (Spare me the criticism. If something can't be reduced to a Smash Bros. analogy, it's not worth studying.)

We would routinely play two-on-two team battles. Whenever Big Jim and I would team up, I would inevitably be Captain Falcon, the bombastic and badass brawler. Jim, on the other hand, would choose Samus, the archetype of a jobber. Naturally, I would do the heavy lifting for the team, shouting "Show me your moves!" and "Falcon Punch!" all along the way. Jim, of course, would allow me to take a two-on-one beating just so he could stay in the corner and charge up his Big Shot. Despite my demands to "Get in the fray!" the most assistance I could hope for would be the occasional Up-B. Then, at the end of the fight, just as I was about to complete my heroic one-on-two victory, Big Jim would come in, fire one Big Shot, and steal my kills.

So it was in the Continental Congress. While John Adams was up fighting for independence on the floor of Congress every day, Jefferson sat on his hands like a scared little boy. Adams would take a beating from opponents of independence such as John Dickinson, and Jefferson would remain silent, providing virtually no assistance. Once Adams had heroically swung Congress to vote for independence, Jefferson hopped in, wrote the Declaration, and stole all the glory.

To fill out the analogy, Wierema has to be George Washington, always ready for a fight but smart enough to find one on good terms. And clearly Pontzer is the French: only fighting when it suits his own interests, prone to spectacularly violent disasters, and far, far too effeminate.