Despite her formidable intelligence, my wife enjoys American Idol. I can't really explain why.
One unfortunate consequence of my wife's enjoyment has been me watching far, far too much of the show. However, an exciting byproduct of my viewing has emerged: I have finally figured out a suitable analogy to describe listening to Paula Abdul speak.
You know how when you go swimming and dunk your head underwater? No matter what happens, you're inevitably going to get some water stuck in your ears. Listening to Paula Abdul is like that, but instead of water, you're surrounded by stupid. No matter what you try to do, you're going to get some stupid stuck in your head.
Alas, hopping up and down with your head tilted can't get the stupid out.
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