Different Strokes

Some cultures induce men to stick bones through their noses. Others to cast fat, bratty boys as the heroes in their movies. I hate to condemn an entire nation over two B-Movies like Gamera and Time of Apes, but Mystery Science Theater 3000 has definitely opened my eyes to a sick, twisted side of Japanese culture. As well as more than lightly touched by the ugly stick, Kenny (Gamera) and Johnny (Apes) are rude to their parents, incredibly stupid, and fail to realize a single admirable trait in their respective 1 1/2 hours of film. Those bones are definitely preferable. This post may seem childish, but you have to see the movies (from Season 3 of MST3K) to see just how much horror these two truly induce.


Kenny - Apparently it is possible to be possessed by a turtle.


Johnny - Who cares about gun wielding apes chasing us when there's food? Anyway he does have a 3 inch knife to protect himself.

The real reason for Japan's decline?