First, we've got a man fulfilling the American Dream, i.e. fighting off a cougar with a chainsaw to save your wife and kids. There's not video included, but I imagine it went down something like this:
The article did say the cougar was starving, so just imagine ears on top of the zombies. A boomstick would have just been unfair. Dustin, was a man's man, and took on the beast fair and square.
In other news, I've often wondered what would happen in the Oscar Meir Wienermobile got in a crash. I now know.

Carry on.